Well, there’s no place to start like the glaringly obvious: diabetes. The OC is full of people who are doing their part. Am I?
If by “doing my part” you mean whining periodically or perhaps chronicling my awkwardness, then yes--yes, I am. Otherwise, well...not as such.
It’s clearly the right thing to do, to contribute time and energy toward the causes of helping people cope, helping to raise money for the search for the Shmure, and so forth. Couldn’t begin to argue against it. But there’s a wall of (self-centered, irritated, irritating) resistance within me.
I think it’s an internal tension similar to the one described here. There’s a continual negotiation between Diabetic Violet and the Rest of Violet over how many of my waking hours I’m willing to sign over to this disease.
Diabetic Violet (hmm, perhaps she should be Violet with Diabetes out of respect for folks who hate “diabetic”?) knows that making a positive contribution to D-related causes would be a healthy—dare I say mature?—adaptation to my circumstances.
The Rest of Violet does not want to be quite that diabetic (have quite that much diabetes???), thank you very much. She’s shooting for the middle ground.
VWD points out that I’m always whining about isolation, about not knowing enough nonvirtual people who are tackling the same issues I am. D-related volunteer work is an obvious way to change that.
ROV does not want diabetes to become the mainstay of my interactions with other humans. Period.
VWD thinks ROV is in denial.
ROV thinks VWD is a priss.
OCers, where are you on this subject? (Um, not the question of whether VWD is a priss. The volunteering thing.)
Happily for both Violets, one can have a positive impact on the world in quite a few ways, huzzah! So for now I am shelving the question. I’m attracted to working with animals or maybe, if I can pull together the emotional fortitude, something like this program, which provides companionship to people at the end of life.
ROV figures diabetes will be around a while longer, after all. She will still be needed when she's ready.